The Swords of Sharing

Our Soldier Boy got foam swords for Christmas.
When I tell people that, they get this knowing look that says, "I bet it was from a crazy uncle. I'm so sorry." What really shocks them is when I tell them that I was the one that put it on his Christmas list.
"What?! Why would you let a three year old have swords?"
"Well, everything from my kitchen spatula to his sister's markers were swords any way. I figure that foam swords would be safer for everybody."
"But aren't you worried that it will teach him to be violent?"
"Um.... I think we have already crossed that bridge. He already knows about swords."
"But what about teaching your kids not to fight?"

Actually, this has been teaching him to share. You see, he got 2 swords and the main rule was this You may only 'Get' someone if they have a sword, too. So, its fun to run around with a foam sword in your hand. But, it is even more fun to have someone to play with.

So now, instead of hearing, "He hit me with a car track/sword" we hear "You wanna play swords with me?"

Who would have thought that swords would teach my kids how to share?

This works for me. Check out more at We Are That Family.

I Don't Like to Share

I know that some women, at delivery, gave up all their selfish desires. The moment that they saw those precious fingers and toes, they never put themselves first again.

That didn't happen to me.
I won't give away my last bite of ice cream, just because you are cute.
The box of stuff on my dresser is MINE.
Whatever it is can wait until I am done taking my shower.
Yes, mommy and daddy are going to do something special without you tonight.

Sometimes I share.
You can have as much of my corn as you want.
Sure, I think we have some canned stuff in the BACK of our cupboard you can have.
You can sleep in my bed for a few minutes, if you let me go back to sleep.

But my sharing still tends to be pretty selfish.
Did I not learn how to share when I was a kid? I know how to take turns. I know how to wait in line. I know how to borrow and lend. I even know how to volunteer, and give.
When it is convenient anyway.
How am I ever going to teach my kids how to share?
Apparently God knew this about me and had the foresight to get it into His book some 2000 years before I was even born.
"Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won't he also give us everything else?" Romans 8:32
Luckily, we have an even better example of how to freely give. So that not only will my kids learn, but just maybe, I will too.

Some Reasons For Not Sharing

Yesterday I was dealing with a question from a reader about sharing. Click here if you want to know how I feel about sharing.



Some kids don't like to share. Maybe being selfish is natural, and they have to unlearn it. I don't know. But I do know that there are many reasons why kids may not want to share.

1. It is a special toy. It doesn't have to actually be a special toy, for it to feel like a special toy to a kid. Big G got a set of cars for Christmas that came in a divided cardboard package. he carried his cars around in that for days. I wanted to throw it away, the other kids wanted to play with it, but the answer was always "No."


2. They want to take care of it. I remember my older brother was always very careful with his books, he would let me read them, but not our younger brother. My mom thought he was just being mean, until BigBro explained that he didn't like that Little Bro folded down the corners of his books, instead of using a book mark.


3. They don't want to. Yes, this can be personal. I don't think I would share anything with someone who was mean to me either.


4. They are defensive. If they are always being forced to give up things when they don't want to, some kids may become more resistant to sharing in the future.


5. They just remembered they had it. Sometimes when they are asked about it, it reminds them that they had it, which may make them want it. Even if they were playing with something else before.


6. They don't know how. Some kids may worry that they won't get it back, or that they aren't allowed to play anymore. Showing them by example may be a great way to ease their worries about their toys.

To me, these are perfectly good reasons for not wanting to share. The trick then, as a Mom (or Dad) is to teach our kids to want to share, despite all of these reasons.

Do You Share?

I had a question yesterday about sharing, and then coincidentally we watched the Veggie Tales movie King George and the Ducky, which is about selfishness. Which got me to thinking about where I (we) stand on sharing.

Here's something to think about. As adults, what do you share? Do you share your car? Your toothbrush? Your pillow? While the answer may be no to those questions, the answer is likely yes to these: Do you share the park? The road? or what about a meal? or your home?

With the exception of the road, they do seem to have some pretty strict rules about sharing, nobody MAKES me share. I do it because I want to. My motivations might be selfish, maybe I want something; or maybe I am just generous.

In our home, I think it works the same way. There are "public" things: books, legos, bathrooms, and the sandbox. It would be silly for each kid to have their own. So kids do learn to share these things. But even then, it is not a free for all. They still have to learn to ask, "May I play with you? May I come in? Are you done with those blocks or books."

Now, as a mom, of course I want my kids to share. But I am more concerned about what is going on in their hearts. If my kid is only sharing because he doesn't want to go to time out, well, frankly, I would rather have a selfish kid who ends up playing by himself. Because even though I may be able to force him to give up something of his, he hasn't learned to love, and to give from the heart. When he is thirty-something and making his own money, I want him to share his money with the needy, not because of the tax deduction, but because he has a burning desire in HIS heart to help them.

So this feels like it is getting long, and I have more to say, so stay tuned next time for more on sharing.